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Why, Oh Why??


Unfortunately, dis-empowering perspectives are all too common. In fact, they are so common that writers McKay, Davis, and Fanning, have made an attempt to analyze the most common dis-empowering perspectives by putting them into 15 key groups. Read these out loud to your self and see how you have allowed yourself to be trapped by these?

  • Filtering: Focusing on the negative details of a situation and filtering out all positive aspects.
  • Polarized Thinking: Seeing a situation as either, good or bad; right or wrong, perfect or a complete failure.
  • Over generalization: Making a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence, for example someone disappoints you once, so you can never trust them again.
  • Mind Reading: Making assumptions about what people are feeling, why they are acting as they are, and how they feel about you
  • Catastrophizing: Assuming that the worst possible outcome will happen.
  • Personalization: Thinking that everything people do or say is a reaction to you.
  • Control Fallacy: Thinking that you are responsible for everyone or everything around you or, alternatively, thinking that you are a victim of fate and have no control over anything.
  • Fallacy of Fairness: Being resentful because you believe that everything in life should be fair.
  • Emotional Reasoning: Believing that what you feel is the truth. For example, if you feel stupid, it means that you are stupid. If you feel guilty then you must have done something wrong.
  • Fallacy of Change: Believing that you can’t be happy unless you can change those around you to behave the way you want them to.
  • Global Labeling: Generalizing one or two qualities into the negative global judgment. For example, one doctor is rude to you so all doctors are arrogant and self- important.
  • Blaming: Thinking that someone else causes everything negative in your life.
  • Shoulds: You keep a list of rules about the way the world “should” operate and become angry or disappointed if others don’t follow your rules.
  • Being Right: Going to any length to demonstrate your rightness because being wrong is terrible.
  • Heaven’s Reward Fallacy: Feeling bitter when the rewards do not come that you think you deserve after working hard.

Funny????? Well maybe not!!! There must be another angle…….

After reading each of the fifteen dis-empowering perspectives lets read these alternative empowering perspective below:

  • Most experiences in life have a mixture of good and bad in them and I choose to focus on the good.
  • Even the worst situations offer opportunities to learn and grow
  • Every new situation is a new opportunity. My past doesn’t have to determine my present or future.
  • Living in alignment with my values is the most important thing. Relationships with others flow out of this.
  • Today is going to be a good day if I choose to make it one.
  • I have my journey. Other people have theirs.
  • There are many opportunities in every day for me to shape my future.
  • I can live with life’s disappointments and not be overwhelmed by them.
  • I am a unique and magnificent human being.
  • My life is the most important project I will ever work on.
  • Most people are good at heart.
  • I am the only one who can change my mind and my heart.
  • We are all different and that’s one of the things that makes life interesting.
  • We all make mistakes. It’s how you learn from them that matters.
  • Virtue is its own reward.

I feel I can smile again……..

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